


I will hope - I will wait

by LazyButSmexy



Series: Here we go again, even if it takes a lifetime [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (I had to make myself less sad), (kind of), Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, F/M, Flashbacks, Horse!Reader, Hurt/Comfort, I made myself cry so I hope you cry too, horse!Levi - Freeform, light humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 14:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10220009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyButSmexy/pseuds/LazyButSmexy
Summary: Second chances, he knew they were given.Third chances? Who knows.Not him.





	1. Losing (you) myself

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on a whim - like pretty much all my stories hehe - so there might be errors. I might check it later when I'm not running only on caffeine to stay awake. 
> 
> Y/n : your name  
> E/c : eye color  
> H/c : hair color

They should have seen it coming, for it was clear that, even though not to Titans, they were still pray. 

Encountering a starving bear that had just woken up after hibernation was their worst mistake. 

(Y/n) had gotten the larger part, and Levi could only stay by her side after the hungry beast had ran off after something else. 

The bear had been merciless. Flesh has been torn away, and blood was pouring out free, soaking the soil below Levi's hooves. 

He felt useless. He hated that feeling with a passion. He also hated not having been able to predict this. It had been his idea to go for a run after all. 

It had made (Y/n) so happy, to prance around with him, jumping on the puddles of melting snow, and sniffing every flower that bloomed in her way. 

Spring made her extremely happy. 

And now she was dying. 

Levi took a deep breath and ignored the sharp pain in his side as he lay down next to her, and leaned his head gently on her shoulder. 

Her breathing was ragged and he could feel the tremor of her tore muscles. She tried to look at him but the pain made her let out a yelp and her head hit the ground again. 

Levi stretched out and pressed his nose to her cheek. He was in an uncomfortable position, but damn hell if he wouldn't be with her in her last moments. 

Back when they were both human, he failed to be with her, and she had died alone; quick and painlessly, but alone. Now, on the contrary, he was with her, just like she had been when the human called Levi died. But she was scared, confused, and in the worst pain imaginable. 

Her breathing became more labored, and a garbled whimper left her lips - he could only imagine it had been his name what came out. 

Levi pressed himself against her - one last hug. 

"I love you, princess;" he cursed himself by the tremor in his voice, and his vision went blurry by unshed tears. 

But the words had been out just in time. The tremor stopped, and the breathing ceased. 

(Y/n) was gone. Again. 

And to be honest, he didn't know if they would be given another chance. Second chances are given; third chances? Who knows. 

This time - unlike when he was human and lost his (Y/n), his princess, for the first time - he allowed himself to mourn. 

 

A man and his eldest son were after the trail of a bear that had stolen a sheep. There was a trail of prints, both of the bear and at least two horses. And blood of an open wound. 

As they arrived to a clearing, the wrenching cry of a horse was heard, and they peered in to see if the bear was there. Although there was no bear, they caught the sight of a wounded black horse laying down next to another horse, unmoving, probably dead given the injuries and the blood. 

They walked closer, arms on the ready just in case the bear came back for it's food. But there was only a visibly sad horse mourning a friend. 

"The bear'll come back," the older man said, briefly glancing at the black horse. 

Levi looked up and knew what the man meant. It would be pointless to stay here. He needed to get away as far as possible, find a way to heal, and survive. But, how? It's not as if he could go back to the city and request a doctor to heal him; he wasn't a human, he was a wounded horse that would probably end up in a slaughterhouse. 

But, would that really matter? Did he want to keep on living without (Y/n)?

As he kept on thinking, he raised to his feet, the cramping ache surrounding him. He looked down at his hooves, they were bloodied and sore.

He decided not to think much about what would the future bring. He would accept anything that came to him. 

And with that in mind, he started walking. 

The younger man looked at the black horse with amazed eyes, and stood still until the animal came to him, it's head low in a submissive pose. His hand stretched out and caressed the horse's forehead, and a small smile stretched his lips. 

"... Alright, buddy, I'm taking you with me," the man assured the horse, and with a rope he had hanging from his waist he prepared a noose, securing it around the horse's neck. 

The walk back to the farm was quiet, at least from Levi's side. The young man was claiming proudly his first capture of a wild horse, while the older one laughed out, saying it didn't count if the horse had offered itself to him. 

Levi only listened, putting one foot on front of the other and using the loud voices to drown away the images of blood, grim and dead. And (e/c) eyes looking at him in terror and pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im crying っ╥╯﹏╰╥c


	2. Finding (you) hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He shut his eyes and imagined as the breeze caressing his face were actually her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y/n : your name  
> E/c : eye color  
> H/c : hair color

After a considerable walk, they arrived to a farm, surrounded by fenced pastures, in which a few sheeps and cows where scattered far away from the road. There was a barn, a small orchard, and a wooden hut surrounded by blooming flowers.

The picturesque scenery made Levi relax if only slightly, the soft scent of the flowers waltzing his way. 

As they arrived at the barn, Levi was tied up against a post, and the younger man began washing away his injuries. The older man went further inside and shortly came back with a bucket of grains, which Levi found strangely delicious. 

"What are you going to call him?," the old man spoke as he straightened up. The younger one hummed out loud and smiled up at the horse. 

"Levi, like that soldier that was quite famous when I was a kid, remember?"

The old man hummed in recognition and nodded to himself. 

Levi snorted softly. At least they weren't calling him 'buttercup' or some shit like that. 

Once his wounds were treated, he was put in a box with more grains and fresh water, and the two men walked out. Outside, a woman shouted, and the younger man fled into the house as the older one laughed out loud. 

Levi paid no mind at the commotion, and once again surrounded in silence, he fell asleep. 

His dreams were filled with (e/c) eyes, (h/c) hair, and a cheeky smile. Of secret good night kisses shared in his headquarters office, and gentle yet strong arms clutching him tightly. Of calloused hands, just as his own, cupping his face and squishing his cheeks, making him look ridiculous. Of beautiful laughter and flushed cheeks. Of lips bitten and brows furrowed in concentration. 

_I love you, Levi._

He opened his eyes and felt at peace. He was rested, his wounds didn't hurt too much, and he wasn't hungry. 

The morning light came in through a window, and he could hear the roosters making a competition on which could sing the loudest. 

It was another day of being alive. His first time in so long without (Y/n). And he would survive. 

 

Days passed, and Levi kept on hearing, amused, as the young man that brought him was talking about his first born. Usually, it was directed to the older man, but today he wasn't at the farm, so the new father was talking to Levi as the bandages were changed by new ones. 

"Oh, boy, her little, teeny tiny fingers are so perfect, and they hold my finger real hard! You should see her some day, but I don't think hunny gonna let her in here for a while," as the man babbled on and about, Levi couldn't help but remember when (Y/n) had fostered a puppy for one stormy night in the Survey Corps headquarters - illegally, of course. She had left the little one go once the storm had passed, and then went to Levi to gush about how cute the puppy was when sleeping all spread out on the floor. 

Once with clean bandages, the young father led Levi out to the fields for some exercise and a bit of fresh grass. As Levi basked in the sunlight, he saw a woman standing by the door, a bundle of blankets in her arms. The new parents looked down at the baby with adoring faces, and the world seemed to glow only for them. 

Levi couldn't help but let his mind wander, how would life be if he had started a family. With (Y/n).

Happiness. Love. Warmth.

He shut his eyes and imagined as the breeze caressing his face were actually her hands. 

 

He had healed completely, and in his moments of solicitude Levi had decided he could be of use in the farm, where he had food and water, and daily exercise. He had considered that working for that wasn't that different from being a soldier. 

Besides, maybe some work would help him cope with the loss. 

 

The man was confused as to why a horse that was clearly wild and had no mark, was so docile. There was no trouble on putting the saddle, nor the reins. And not even the usually expected fight for mounting was present. The black horse he had picked up in the woods a few months ago was allowing him to mount, and was probably the most cooperative horse when herding the sheeps or cows. 

It was also the smartest animal he had ran into, having learned how to open the door of it's box and steal carrots from the orchard. His wife had found it amusing how a horse would not even step on the other vegetables, and would even wipe the dirt off it's shoes before walking back into the barn. 

And he liked tea. The woman had also caught the horse slurping loudly on a jar of tea she had left on the window to cool down. 

"What a strange horse you are," he smiled at the animal, giving it a friendly pat on the neck before locking him back into the box. 

 

Levi looked up from the frosty grass he was munching and looked around the fields. Winter was coming closer, it hadn't snowed yet, but the morning dew was frozen, making the grass crunch under his hooves. 

It's going to be a year in a few months, he thought. He groaned softly and shook his head, wishing away the images of blood covering his hooves. 

They were always there, though, taking the smallest chance to come back up from the depths of his mind. 

 

That evening, as he was locked in his box, munching distractedly on some hay, a jar of hot tea was left on his door. 

 

Winter came and went, and as the days started lasting longer, and the hardships of the season were diminished, Levi found himself sunbathing outside again. The fields covered in white were quite a sight. The other animals didn't come out from the stables yet, staying warm in between the hay. 

Levi still liked to go outside, given the fact he had his blanket wrapped around him at all times. It was a warm blanket, made from pieces of thick fabric and the inside of the chest part was covered in wool. It also had his name embroidered on the sides. 

The farmer's wife had brought it one day and made her husband put it on Levi. Because "as long as I live, no one who can drink tea by themselves is gonna be cold in this household," she had claimed. 

Levi decided he liked the woman. 

And now he could see her holding a heavily clothed toddler, her husband trailing close behind. They were out to show the snow to the little one, he guessed, and watched them from the patch of sunlight he was standing under. 

Now that he thought about timelines, he remembered that the child should be a year old by now, for she was born the day he arrived at the farm. 

He saw the man point to him and say something to the child, and soon heard him call out his name. Levi, always the obedient, reluctantly left his sunny spot to walk to the man, and the lady positioned the little girl so she was facing him. 

Levi arrived at the little family of three in a slow pace, and only once the man held his reigns he looked at the baby, and his heart stopped. 

(E/c) eyes looked at Levi in wonder, a wide toothy grin appeared between rosy cheeks, and the toddler squirmed in her mother's hold, curling her tiny hands as if unsure she could touch the black horse. 

Levi only stared at her, both in curiosity and hope. Could she be...?

"Look, (Y/n)! This is Levi, the horsie. Can you say 'Levi'?" her father gushed at the girl, talking in that ridiculous baby voice.  
The woman rolled her eyes and snorted, "She hasn't even said 'mom' or 'dad' yet, and you want her to-"

"De-Devi!"

Both adults - and horse - looked at the little girl in shock, and she happily stretched out her little hand, decided to touch Levi's face. Snapping himself from his thoughts, Levi leaned in slowly, as to not startle her, and placed his soft muzzle right under the small hand, earning a happy squeal from the toddler.

"Devi!" she repeated, and smiled widely at the animal in front of her, scratching gently his skin. 

The woman started laughing merrily at the scene, while the man complained, not believing that his daughter, his own flesh and blood, said the name of the horse before even saying 'dad'.

Levi didn't hear any of it, and drowned out the sounds, as he basked in sunlight, (e/c) eyes, happy smiles and rosy cheeks. And the warmth of a hand caressing his nose. 

And the feeling of hope swelling in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raise ur hands if u cry :;(∩´﹏`∩);:


End file.
